smiles
The old saying I remember.
Smiles is the longest word because there’s a mile between each “s”.
Sometimes it’s interesting and reaches frustrating the cultural and social differences from barang to Khmer. My wife and I have had some rough moments about her desire to see me happy all the time and mine to just be how I feel.
What has happened is I’ve just told her there are people I do not like. That don’t make me happy. She understands. She does not make me see them. But she feels I should not show this. I should maintain some outer balance of happiness even if I dislike the person or thing happening. Honestly like our landlord. I do not like them. I won’t associate with them. She gets it.
Bit it shows the gulf and chasm. She sees them as friendly and helpful people she sees every day. I see them as nosy and always watching. I wish a degree of privacy. She sees a communal thing.
See the difference?
How can the two world views reach an accord? Well she has to accept my view and I accept hers and we don’t try to change the other. Then we live in some semblance of mutuality. It is hard for both of us. She wishes to live here. I wish to go.
The card finally played is happiness. She simply wants me to be happy. I cannot be here. And I show it. So she goes looking for a new place. Meanwhile she agrees I have the right to show how I feel. She has the right to love it here.
And we smile again. See? It’s not so far. That mile shrinks when we’re together. It’s still a big walk sometimes from barang to Khmer. Especially when I feel like I am not either. Never could feel like one or want to be the other.
But the distance is so close now. See the mile shrinking to smiles.
smiles